Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
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