woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
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