it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
