What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
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we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
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