I must be too annoying 4 u.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
