just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
