it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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