Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
I think people are normalizing furries
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize
