i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
smell my finger.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Randomize
