The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
My penis needs a shock collar
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
