Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
