i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
