She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
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