i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
