I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
