i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
Only a mothe r could love this liver
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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