All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
Randomize