Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
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you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
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Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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