I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
