question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
