why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
porn star boner night. come get it.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Randomize
