Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
