Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
