Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
is that a dick in a sweater?
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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