Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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