Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Randomize
