Heybabeimwearingurpanties
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize
