after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
