i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
