Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
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