I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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