whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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