If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
its not stalking. its research.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
I know her cup size but not her name....
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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