We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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