To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
