Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Randomize
