the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
