I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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