I'm lost and stupid without you.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
