good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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