how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize