The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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