I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
