Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
