Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
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