I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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