if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
