I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
