Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
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