he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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