I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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