she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Randomize
