Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
