This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Its about making memories worth repressing
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
