Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
tell me about the fingering
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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