Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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