My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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