Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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