I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
My life is pants optional.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
