If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
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