Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize