dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I think my nap took me to another dimension
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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