just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
