woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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