People with herpes should wear stickers.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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