We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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