Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I need to stop coming to work sober
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
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