I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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